


In Another Universe

by BitterRenegade



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Heartbreak, Mutual Pining, Onesided? Shoker, Ow my heart it hurts, Shoker, Why do I do this to myself, Why does he choose a robot over me?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 16:31:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8631025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitterRenegade/pseuds/BitterRenegade
Summary: It was never really just flirting.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RiriYuki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiriYuki/gifts).



> I was basically crying this whole fic because I love Jeff just that much and I really hated how some of the scenes played out in the game and DAMN IT JOKER MARRY ME.

“In another universe without rules and regulations… I would rock your world,” He tells her. She recovers fast but he still notices the hurt in her eyes before she masks her true emotions with a smirk and a laugh… she was always good at that. His heart feels heavier than a boulder when she cheerfully encourages him to go with EDI because he tells himself she’s just flirting. Still, he has seen her die once before, and he wasn’t about to throw stronger feelings into it in the middle of a war. So instead he sits with EDI, smiles and chats and jokes. Pretends he doesn’t see Shepard head up the staircase to the upper level of the club since he knows there’s another bar up there where they can’t see each other. A few hours later he sees Garrus help her out, she’s stumbling over her feet and she’s laughing so hard that there’s tears streaming down her face. EDI asks him what’s wrong. “Nothing, just a bit tired,” the pilot assures, and the two of them head back to the Normandy not long after that.

Normally, Shepard would visit him daily. She’d bring a cup of coffee for him and hot chocolate for herself (she told him once that she hated coffee. Loved the smell; hated the flavor) and sit on the floor next to his seat. It was a thing she’d started back on the original Normandy, before she died, and then restarted when they were with Cerberus. They’d talk about how the last mission went, throw a few jokes back and forth, or just enjoy each other’s company. Since his rejection, however, he was lucky if he saw her for more than a few seconds. He starts to watch her over the security cameras to make sure she’s okay since even though she’s not checking up on him, he wants to check up on her. She spends time with Tali, Chakwas, and Garrus between missions mostly. Now that Kaidan’s back on the Normandy she goes to check in with him too, but never for too long. He understands, though. Not that she and Kaidan had been involved romantically, but the way Alenko acted around her in the past hurt Shepard deeply. Which was why Joker understood why she was keeping her distance from him now. He did technically choose a robot over her, after all.

It isn’t until after Thessia that the two of them talk to each other. Well, not really talk… more like scream. He opens with a joke. “Thessia, huh? Guess the asari are wishing they had fewer dancers and more commandos right about now.” Her eyes widen for a moment, and he knows he said the wrong thing. “Too soon?”

Her lips form a tight line before she snaps at him. “In case you haven’t noticed, we just lost a few million people. This isn’t the time.” She’s angry and he’s angry and after his fingers glide across the console to pull up a hologram of Tiptree, he stands, fed up.

“You see this?” Jeff points a finger at the screen, glaring and making sure each word has more bite than the last. “Tiptree. Little colony out in the ass-end of nowhere. My dad lives there. So does my sister. Reapers rolled in about two weeks ago” The fire that blazes in Shepard’s eyes cools instantly at his words. There’s something inside him that’s screaming for him to stop, but he can’t. Not now. “So you can assume that I’m generally aware there’s a war going on, Commander.”

She winces, bites her lip, then responds. “So why the jokes?”

“Because EDI says that according to your armor’s metabolic scans, you’re under more stress now than during the Skyllian Blitz,” His voice starts to get louder. “Like, more than Akuze where a thresher maw ate the rest of your squad!” They both freeze at that, and at her horrified stare Jeff continues, quieter than before. “And last time I had a briefing with Anderson, he told me to take care of you. The guy leading the resistance on _Earth_ is worried about you and I’m supposed to help.”

He reads so many things in her eyes. Fear, sadness, guilt, and pain. Then it’s gone, shields back up, and she smiles at him. “I appreciate the thought Joker, but I’m fine.”

The anger rushes back into him like a krogan charge. “The hell you are! You’re like half robot at this point,” he pauses and glances at EDI, “…no offense EDI, and it’s my fault.” His head feels like it’s spinning, and he can’t stop talking. “When the Collectors blew up the first Normandy, you died because I wouldn’t leave. Because you had to come back for me.”

Taking a step towards him, she places a hand on his arm. “I couldn’t leave the best pilot in the fleet behind, could I?”

They’re close, too close, and for a moment Jeff’s gaze flickers to her lips before he realizes exactly what he’s thinking and steps away from her coldly, averting his gaze. He can’t do this, not now. “Yeah, well… I guess that would have looked bad on your report.”

“…Come on, we’ve got work to do,” she tells him, and he feels a stab in his chest when her voice cracks. Heavy footsteps start to fade as she leaves, and that’s when he realizes exactly why she came back for him. It was never really _just_ flirting.

Head hanging in his hands, guilt crawling in his gut, he asks EDI if she could bring Shepard some hot chocolate. When the AI returns, it’s with a cup of coffee for him. He knows it’s from Shepard. With a sigh, he asks EDI if they can talk for a bit.

They decide it would be better to just stay friends.


End file.
